Can't sell your cars in the showroom? Screw them in the workshop then!

Category: Motoring

Date Added: 1 April 2009

Think very carefully before taking your vehicle for it's next service...

The other day I took my double cab in for a service at the local dealer, nothing major, just a routine 60 000km service. Later that day and R1800.00 poorer, I got my vehicle back, good as new.  I was mildly concerned on looking at the bill that I did not actually seem to have paid for anything more significant than a few litres of oil, some plugs, a few filters and of course the obligatory "sundries" all of which totalled up to around R900.00 The balance then, was ascribed to "labour"

R900.00 for labour.  Right let's break that down a bit shall we. I dropped my vehicle off at around 08h30 and let’s assume that it stood around waiting for an hour or so while the paperwork was done, someone popped down to the local Spar for a packet of fags and the morning paper got read. At 09h30ish it would have been wheeled into the workshop and the mechanic would have poked around under the hood for about an hour until 10h30 when he would have gone off for his morning tea and obligatory bowl movement.

11h00 would have found him back under the hood tinkering away until 13h00, then lunch until 14h00, whence Mac the mechanic would saunter back to finish off changing the plugs, filters and doing the regulatory 40 point safety check and allegedly taking it for a test run to see that all was hunky dory. At 15h00 it would be sent down to the wash bay to wait in the queue until 16h57 (3 minutes before I arrive to collect it) when they would decide to finally wash it while I pay my hard earned money then stand around like an idiot until it’s finally ready.

All in all you are looking at around 4 hours actual labour by Mac the mechanic at around R225 per hour. I can live with that. Let's not forget the mark up on the parts (easily 200% as a conservative estimate) and everyone is making money. I go home, vehicle’s sorted and Mr Dealer Principle and I are happy.

Unfortunately, more often than not, this does not seem to be the case.

It would seem that seeing as though most dealers can't give their cars away for free at the moment, there are quite a few that seem to have latched onto a cunning plan to make a pile of money from the unwary consumer somewhere else than on the showroom floor.

In the workshop.

Now most of us are quite used to being screwed over on parts prices. This time honoured tradition has been passed down from generation to generation of motor parts dealers and any seasoned home mechanic is well used to having to drop his trousers and bending over at the parts counter for a jolly good seeing to by the disinterested sales clerk before leaving with the much needed clutch assembly for his 1983 Escort  but without his dignity.

It would seem though that a much more insidious scheme is doing the rounds to relieve cash strapped citizens of their fast diminishing cash reserves. I am referring to the murky world of workshop labour rates.

Let me give you an example of what I mean. Two weeks ago I lost the key to a bakkie (Standard diesel single cab workhorse, nothing fancy, two years old)
No problem, I popped down to the dealer around the corner and casually asked how much a new one would cost. Can you guess how much the Neo-Nazi, communist, dressed in a fascist suit, behind the counter wanted? Come on, hazard a guess. One standard bakkie key with an immobiliser button on it. You know the sort you can buy at Midas for R150.

R1593.15!!! 

To the casual observer walking by the parts counter at that point it must have seemed as if he had thrown a bowl of sulphuric acid into my lap.

The breakdown went something like this:
• Key – R895
• Key cutting – R60
• Coding of key (a 30 second job at most) R442.50
• VAT R195.65

In the name of all that is holy, how can you charge R442.50 to program a key?

Unfazed, our pasty faced Neo Nazi communist, dressed in a fascist suit, behind the counter explained that this was charged out at the standard hourly labour rate.
Therefore, by my reckoning, either it takes a full two hours of back breaking manual labour to program this million dollar key or they must be charging around R54 000.00 per hour or roughly R900 per minute in labour.

I don't think even Bill Gates makes that sort of money. And I won’t even go into the ridiculous R940 for the flipping key.

Needless to say, I "politely" explained my views on communists to the nice man and walked out. Keyless.

To compound my woes, my 4x4 had to go for a nip and a tuck last week. Three warning lights started flashing on the dashboard, so I rang up the dealer a few days earlier, explaining the problem and dropped her off at around 10h30 on the appointed day and then spent the rest of the day receiving calls from the service lady explaining that they had no parts in stock for my specific problem and I would have to wait a week or two for necessary bits to arrive.

When I collected the vehicle later that afternoon, I was presented with a bill for R2500.00 and a brace of (still) flashing lights on my dashboard. "We did get one of your problems sorted out though" she smiled cheerily as she swiped my tormented credit card and presented me with a slip for just short of R5000 without as much of an inkling of guilt in her eye.

"But the bill is for R2500" I spluttered, whilst trying to think how to explain to my children that our cars have just cost them their education.

"No, no that’s just the labour; the rest is for parts sweetie..."

My lawyer says that, with good behaviour, I should get out in about 10-15 years.

Gordon Wright

The opinions, comments and views expressed by Gordon Wright do not necessarily reflect those of Algoa FM, its management, staff, partners, clients or associates.